Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Every Fifteen Minutes

B died today of a result of a car accident involving a drunk driver. It seems strange knowing she won't come home from school today. It seems everywhere I look I see a reminder of her. Her shoes in the middle of the floor, a dishwasher flashing washed, it was her turn to empty it, her camp permission slip that I have asked at least a dozen times be put away, no call from her phone asking to be picked up, no text telling me how she did on her math test. No smile with sparkling eyes, not even rolling of eyes when I ask her to do something, An empty place at the table... We will miss her!
Even though I knew this was going to happen, and we never know when death will be our turn, it has led to some serious thought. I know I will get to see her again tomorrow, but what if it were real life, as so many have faced. What if this were real? How would I face it? What would I do? I recently lost a very good friend, and think of her often. But to miss someone you are used to seeing everyday? My hearts goes out to those who have suffered such a loss. To hear someone say, "I heard what happened I am sorry for your loss, I will be at the funeral," what do you say?
Although this is a lesson on the consequences of drinking and driving, which I hope will never have an impact on my life, it has gone much deeper than that for me. Would I be ready to die if it were me? Would I be happy knowing I spent my time wisely with the person who died? Did I say I loved them often enough? Fortunately the we often end our phone conversations or goodbyes with an "I love You." Did we part on good terms? So many questions and thoughts. I do know for sure that if B were to really die, we would have a very empty place in our hearts and home.
Good things:
1. the plan of salvation
2. Knowing I said I love You
3. Sealing power


thorkgal said...

Okay, you had me. I'm crying here... I was in shock thinking your sweet girl was actually dead.
Here's a lesson to go along with the other... you never know how much other people care about you, there may not be words spoken, or visits, but the ripples extend far beyond what we will ever see.
Don't EVER do that again unless there's a warning!!! Got to go get a tissue.

mkamye said...

Oh Terra, my heart stopped and I almost threw up when I read that first line. So glad B is safe and sound. Thank you for the good message. I'm going to get off the computer now and spend some time with my little boy.

Heidi said...

Don't you ever do that to me again. I am near sobbing here...that is just not okay. Okay, an effective lesson, but still not okay. I can't even breath due to the affect crying has on my already congested head...

Grandpa H said...

Great teaching moment! Very well done and effective. It brings to the forefront the hard ugly truth that drinking and driving have severe consequences. As a former peace officer I've seen first hand the devistation that automobile accidents have on families and particularly those caused by drunk drivers. You have effectively brought to our attention our need to activly fight against this cultural problem. Having lost my wife to cancer I had a year to let her know each moment of each day how much I loved her and in a small way make up for all the times in our forty years of marriage that I was less than kind. With accicents we don't have that luxuary. Although it hurts to think about loosing our dear sweet Baily it is definately a wake up call for us to love our families the best we can each moment of our lives. Thanks for the reminder.

Valerie said...

I had read the previous post but I still did a double take when I read this one! I realiazed that your hubby wouldn't being playing WOW with Jeremy if B had died today. ( I really hope not)