B died today of a result of a car accident involving a drunk driver. It seems strange knowing she won't come home from school today. It seems everywhere I look I see a reminder of her. Her shoes in the middle of the floor, a dishwasher flashing washed, it was her turn to empty it, her camp permission slip that I have asked at least a dozen times be put away, no call from her phone asking to be picked up, no text telling me how she did on her math test. No smile with sparkling eyes, not even rolling of eyes when I ask her to do something, An empty place at the table... We will miss her!
Even though I knew this was going to happen, and we never know when death will be our turn, it has led to some serious thought. I know I will get to see her again tomorrow, but what if it were real life, as so many have faced. What if this were real? How would I face it? What would I do? I recently lost a very good friend, and think of her often. But to miss someone you are used to seeing everyday? My hearts goes out to those who have suffered such a loss. To hear someone say, "I heard what happened I am sorry for your loss, I will be at the funeral," what do you say?
Although this is a lesson on the consequences of drinking and driving, which I hope will never have an impact on my life, it has gone much deeper than that for me. Would I be ready to die if it were me? Would I be happy knowing I spent my time wisely with the person who died? Did I say I loved them often enough? Fortunately the we often end our phone conversations or goodbyes with an "I love You." Did we part on good terms? So many questions and thoughts. I do know for sure that if B were to really die, we would have a very empty place in our hearts and home.
1. the plan of salvation
2. Knowing I said I love You
3. Sealing power