Tuesday, November 17, 2009

One of these things is not like the other...

WARNING!!! This blog entry may contain offensive material.

Prom was last weekend, and K looked beautiful. Thanks to ______ for lending a dress to us. However, she would have looked beautiful in a sack. I realize I am a little biased in my opinion, but her beauty went deeper than the dress. So... if I may, I would like to get up on my soap box for a minute...



One of these things is not like the other. Not too difficult to figure out is it? Modesty has been on my mind for awhile now. And I just don't get it. I was so sad when K came home and said so few LDS young women were dressed appropriately. And quite frankly, I was very disappointed. They know better, have been taught better, but somehow when it comes to prom and swimsuits, all previous knowledge goes out the window. Why is that? Feel free to enlighten me so I may better know as a Young women leader how I can teach this important concept. I realize it is all about agency. Don't get me wrong, I am so far away from perfect. And while I admit I have so many issues of my own, that I have to work on, this is one of those things that I just don't understand. We all have our own struggles and maybe mine are just struggles that others don't see, such as reading scriptures everyday. I believe it was Sister Dalton who said something to the effect of ..."When we truly realize who we are, and what we can become we will make better choices. " Are young women missing that they are a Daughter of God, and as a princess they need to act like a princess and dress like a princess. Do we no longer know how REAL princesses act. (and dress) I don't have the answers here, only pose questions. As tradition goes, K wore her dress to church on Sunday. A dad told G later what his daughter said, "She looks like a real princess." I know it is not all about the dress that makes young women feel so pretty. It is about so much more. It is about what is really inside the dress. The confidence to know they are pure and divine, to know they are loved, to know where true happiness can be found, to know there is more to life than themselves. So... Thank You to those young women who will not let "fashion" tell them what to wear, who stand strong for what you believe, and who look so beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. Your light will shine no matter how dark it gets!
Good Things:
1. knowledge
2. doing whats right
3. beauty, the real kind
Can you help me down now?!
I also must add, that their are some amazing young women out there, and that there better be some great young men preparing for them.

14 comments:

Heidi said...

I will just say a few things...first of all, parents cannot expect their daughters to be modest as teenagers if they haven't expected them to be modest as young girls. I know many moms who think that tank tops and bikinis are really cute on little girls, so they buy them (I call them hoochie-momma clothes) to put on their little girls. Then, they turn around and their little girls aren't little anymore, but how do you change the standard? Jadee LOVES fancy dresses...the kind the girls wear to prom. But, she knows that she will wear a shirt under or over the dresses without sleeves. I don't even have to tell her this. We were looking at dresses the other day at my favorite store, Ross, and there are A LOT of hoochie-momma dresses for four-year-olds, I might add. She pointed one out and said, "Ooo, that's cute. I'll just need to find a shirt that matches." So, to answer the question, "Why does all previous teaching go out the window?" I don't think that teaching about prom dresses and swimsuits has started early enough or been detailed enough.

(btw...for those of you who think I am being self-righteous...please know that I am a recovering mini-skirt, hoochie-momma formal-dress wearing addict and I speak from personal experience more than anything...fortunately for me, there were more modest options for prom dresses when I was growing up and I was too self conscious of my white body to sport a bikini...)

I must also say that when a young woman has the required attention from important men in her life (ie: father, grandfather) she has no need to look elsewhere for the attention that dressing immodestly evokes. Fathers, if you don't pay attention to your daughters, I know lots of creepy boys who will.

Anyhow...that's my two cents worth...establish the standard while they are infants and don't deviate and dads, pay attention.

Terra, I hope my daughter grows up to be like yours. btw...Jadee wants to invite you all to her birthday on Christmas...she came up with that in the car the other day...remind me to tell you the story. Sorry to dominate the comments section.

kate said...

I love how you think. You are quite an amazing lady, thats why I like you so much:) K is georgeous!!!

mkamye said...

I was looking at K's pictures on FB yesterday and was proud of her for dressing modestly when her friends didn't. She is such a good example to all of our YW :)

~Amy

Beth said...

Yes, K is beautiful inside and out...and the fact that she dresses modestly (besides being a tribute to her and her momma) just shows off that beauty all the more.

Thanks to both of you for setting a good example to my daughter who soon will be entering that phase of life.

Don't have any answers for you, however, but I certainly agree with what Heidi said.

Maybe if girls were told how it affects guys to see a girl immodestly dressed, they would be more careful?

Valerie said...

I agree with Heidi! How can you have youe kids dress in tanks and bootie shorts and then all of the sudden "oh, we have to cover our bodies!?" It makes me uncomfortable to see little girls in skimpy things, it isn't teaching them how nice LDS girls should dress.

I saw Kennedy's Picture on Facebook. I thought she was the only LDS girl. She did look gorgous! Modest is totaly more atractive!

mom said...

Just for your info... K is the only LDS girl in this group photo, but their were lots at the prom who should have chosen a different dress.

Carters said...

I agree with everything said. So important and K looks so beautiful!

Wendy said...

K is beautiful.

I agree with the other readers. We have to start young and be consistent. In fact, I think girls who learn modesty really young have an easier time making modest decisions as teens. Modesty is already a part of who they are.

Sariah said...

I have to agree with you. Not only did pretty much all the LDS girls dress immodestly, but the ones who dressed immodestly danced innappropriately too. I guess it just goes to show that dressing immodestly leads to other things besides creepy boys. Tell Kennedy that I was super glad she was there so that there was someone else standing on the sidelines during the bad/innappropiate songs and that she's a really good example to me in the way she dresses and acts:) I think it's so sad that people you thought were all strong in the church and stuff really don't have it all together like you think they do.

Lynlee said...

I LOVE that yellow dress. I'm glad she was able to wear it instead of it sitting in my closet for the rest of life. I know for me, I had a hard time finding a modest dress that I felt was really beautiful! But like K, I modified this exact dress to make it modest and it still turns out to be beautiful,even more beautiful I think. I think a big problem is that kids want to fit in and feel like people are judging them if they aren't staying up with the "fashion." Unfortunately the things of the world tell us that the "fashion" is to wear way to short shorts, sleeveless shirts, stomach showing, dresses where the neckline plunges down to our belly button. If that is what the "fashion" is then that is what people want to wear. I have never been a fashionable person, so I don't understand why people struggle with the concept of modesty either. But it wasn't that long ago that I was in K's, shoes and I know that was the mindset of a lot of the people I went to high school with. It isn't that hard to make a immodest dress modest. Another thing, I think people think is that they are in high school and when they get ready to get married in the temple they will change what they wear.

Amy said...

YOU GO! I would love to get up on the soap box with you! I agree with you! I only have boyz, but because they are going to be dating girls someday, I appreciate the parents who reinforce the modesty issue. THANK YOU! Even though your girls are too old for my boyz! Anyhow, K does look like a princess! That is the first thing I said!

Mommy Tray said...

I know that the LDS girls in Seth's group were "very modestly dress". I am thankful that they did all they could, to their dresses, to make them modest.!

Those Schank's in Fallon, Nevader said...

'Loved the pictures!

kickerofelves said...

You come across as incredibly petty with very poor judgement by needlessly pointing out other people's children online via a photo, comparing your own to them & calling their dress 'immodest' when their dresses clearly--to any rational person--aren't. The key word being 'rational'.

Perhaps you should dress your daughter in a burka.