Monday, June 7, 2010

Dilemma(sp?)

So here is my most recent dilemma...I have been doing two thing for the last 9 months that take a considerable amount of my time. I have done it not because I wanted to necessarily, because I have felt an obligation to, let's just say the "community." I have now come to the conclusion that I am under appreciated, and no one seems to notice my "good works." Now understand, I don't feel entitled to a grand thank you, or anything of that sort, but a genuine heartfelt thank you would be a nice gesture. So without going into further detail not fit for public viewing, I have a decision to make for the future...Do I continue with the obligations knowing that no one will notice, I will again be under appreciated, and get over it, or do I simply say "no thank you" next time with no explanation, and feel guilty for being a non-supportive parent? Please help me out with your comments. I know I am not the only one who has felt this way. My new goal is to make sure those who help me out are thanked and let know of my appreciation.

Good things:
1. knowing someone appreciates you
2. those who say "thanks"
3. friends who listen to me ramble

8 comments:

Carters said...

I think we have experiences to teach us important lessons about how we are to treat others in the future. I have probably said a gozillian times to my kids when they feel a certain way, usually when they are feeling excluded or when they are asking why nobody comes to their play or concert after they made invitations. I say 2 things: we can't do what we do so somebody might notice (i.e. always do your best because it is the right thing to do) AND we need to remember how it makes us feel(forgotten and unimportant) and be sensitive to others in the future so as to not make them feel like that if at all possible. However, Tate and I have let go of a few relationships and obligations due to them not ever being reciprocal in nature. I'd say, let the spirit guide you. The spirit may tell you are needed elsewhere. God can't redirect His work when we don't make room (letting go of old stuff) for His work needing done today. Good luck! I have some things I am working on in relation to this very thing myself.

Beth said...

I have several thoughts off the top of my head.

Doctrine and Covenants 123:17 ...let us cheerfully do all things that lie within our power... (that isn't the real scripture I was looking for, but close enough)

If you cannot do it cheerfully...if it's too stressful, too negative and you have a choice in the matter...then maybe you shouldn't do it.

However, you also have to look at the benefit to your children. Not that we always have to get out of things as much or more than we put in, but is it worth your time? Is the benefit to your kids worth the time and energy you spend on these things or are there other things you could be doing with your time and energy that would be more beneficial to your kids?

Is it good, better, or best that you are spending your time on these activities?

I don't know for sure what things you are talking about, though I do have a few ideas, and if it's what I'm thinking then I say it's time to have other parents step up.

The Crandalls said...

Tell them no and don't feel guilty about. You will feel a lot better about it if you don't worry about it.

JJones said...

If you are not there to suggest what should be common sense, who will?

Mama Bair said...

If what your doing brings you joy and fullfilment, do it. If your having to bear the full burden and not enjoying it, ditch it. Heavenly Father sees your good works and so does your family. If you choose not to do this again, there are other ways to support family and community that can be joyful and rewarding. Listen to the promptings when you pray and do what your heart tells you to do. Good luck.

Those Schank's in Fallon, Nevader said...

Okay, so is the stuff really important and make a difference in everyones' lives? If it does, then feel gratified, compliment yourself a lot, and continue. If it doesn't, time to move on to things that make a difference and are essential.

P.S. We miss you at the gym! (Hey, your health is very important, right?)

Heidi said...

I need more details...I'm going to have to make a phone call and then I'll comment. ;)

Lady Fox said...

I hear ya! The billion things we should, could, or need to do can overtake our lives. I say it is important to put a cap on them. Pick and choose the things you are most passionate about. The rest can be left to others....